Not My Week

By Kelly Bridgewater

If you have been following my blog at all, you know that this time of year, I don't feel too happy.

On Halloween 2015, my Daddy died unexpectedly. I still have a hard time believing he is not here. I can't pick up the phone and have a phone call with him. I still miss him. Even though this week is three years. (Here is the link to a blog post I wrote six months after he passed! Be prepared for some tears!)

The grief really doesn't go away. I have just learned to move on with my life and live without him. 

From Pinterest

There are moments where something comes up, like a song or a movie, and I start to tear up because it reminds me of him. I have gazed at his picture and wish he was still here. I have read his words that he has written in front of books he has purchased for me. I have kept a number of his prayer journals, and I feel myself drawn to his words and his communication with God.

I have written  him letters explaining how I feel. It is a great stress reliever for me.

On October 21st, it is my Daddy's birthday. This year, he would have been 70 years old. I plan to make a German Chocolate Cake with his mother's recipe to remember him by. Last year, I tried to throw a birthday party and invited my siblings, but neither one came. Might just be a lone celebration again.

It is hard not to think about him this time of year. First, a celebration, then moments of grief.

I know he is heaven, and we will meet again, but it is still hard.

Thank you for allowing me to share my heart today.