Two weeks ago, I talked about what believed the call on my life was.
Last week, I talked about how God and I had worked to take the steps to lead me toward what I believe what was the calling on my life.
I even left you with a cliff-hanger last week: What if writing isn't the call on my life?
What if God isn't calling me to write? What do I do now?
I'm not going back to school to pursue another career path. The first time around, I did it with no debt. I really don't want to do it again and rack up tons of debt.
But writing and reading is ALL I have ever enjoyed to do.
But when I have sat down to write in the past three years, I don't feel the words flow. My characters don't talk to me anymore. My writing appears very boring and not good enough.
I still have ideas pop in my head, but when I go to compose the scene, my fear of writing something horrible freezes me up, and I put the computer away. I write down the ideas in my notebook with my research notes and move about my day.
I have pleaded, begged, and prayed to God to come alongside me and compose these stories for his glory, but I don't hear anything or feel the comfort of his presence when I sit down to write.
Lately, I feel like God is telling me NOT NOW!!!
Which makes me really sad.
So what am I suppose to do with my life now?
Work five in the evening until one in the morning at the local grocery chain. Never make enough money to see the light of day. Work with NO PASSION until I die.
Did you catch those words? Those important words. NO PASSION.
Apparently, that is what I have now. NO PASSION. No passion for writing. No passion for reading. No passion for doing what I thought God designed me to do.
Come back next week where I will share what I have been working on since I discovered writing isn't for me at this stage in my life.