Three weeks ago, I talked about discovering my calling for my life.
Two weeks ago, I talked about the steps I took to achieve this calling.
Last week, I talked about the changing of this passion.
This week, I want to talk about what I have been doing since I feel like writing isn't my passion anymore.
First, I started homeschooling my nine-year-old son who struggled in second grade. He read books better than any kid in his class, but when he closed the book, he couldn't answer questions about the plot. He would come home from school and have to do three to four more hours of school work every day. Math was a struggle. Memorizing his spelling words, vocabulary, and reading his stories were easy.
My husband and I, with many moments of joint prayer, agreed to leave him home for third grade, and I give him the one-on-one attention he needs to make sure he succeeds in school.
Some days, he understands, and we fly through his lessons.
Other days, I want to strangle him and send him back to public school. If he doesn't care, why should I?
My reward: He is now reading things and answering reading comprehension questions without fail. He understands what he is reading and gets tests and quizzes correct. His math skills have drastically improved. He knows ALL his multiplication facts, tells time, counts money, and can do division. I'm proud I have taken the year to invest in my son's education.
Plus, I think he really enjoys spending alone time with mom.
Second, I have been working on my book reviewing and a couple of cross-stitch pictures as gifts for this Christmas. It is nice to not be overwhelmed with writing that has to be done by a certain date.
Don't get me wrong. Plot ideas still pop into my head all the time. I'll write them down in my notebooks and put them back on the shelf. I find a research book at a yard sale, knowing I might need it later, so I buy it and stick it on the shelf. Not to be read yet.
One day, I pray God actually gives me the skills and comes alongside me to continue my heart's desire for writing. Some days, I still cry when I think about not writing, but I don't think it's something I should be doing right now.
Overall, my conclusion, if writing was really God's calling on my life, then why is it so hard for me to compose HIS story?
What about you? Have you ever felt this way?
I don't want to be a downer. I just felt like this was something I should be sharing from the bottom of my heart.