By Kelly Bridgewater
Lord,
2024 will bring some big changes for me.
I want to spend more time actually reading my
Bible and enjoy the time I spend with the Lord. I maybe read it about two times
a week. Not steady at all! I want to dive deep into a relationship with you,
but when I pray, I feel like I spend more time complaining about my life that I
am not happy with, then actually looking for the good in my life. A totally
pessimistic personality. I want church friends who will actually grow and pray
with me. I do NOT have any of that. I want a Godly friend who will come alongside
me, pray with me, and be there for. Someone who will listen when I gripe, and
then pray with me as we present my issues to you.
I plan to spend less time reading and reviewing
books (More about this later!) but more time on actually researching and
writing my novels.
I have had the desire to be a published author
since I was ten years old. I have many story ideas floating around in my head.
I have even written three complete novels that were not written well. Still
struggling with finding the confidence to write after the passing of my Daddy
over eight years ago. If viewers have followed this blog or browse through my
past posts, they will see the trail of unwritten words but the desire to write.
Being depressed has not helped me to write either. I know I have issues that
need dealt with, but I don’t know how to deal with them.
I need an accountability partner who is willing
to meet with me and FORCE me to write. I need a person who understands the ins
and outs of writing a novel. Maybe even someone who has been published and is
willing to take some time to make me a better and more confident writer.
Someone who is willing to meet at least once a month and is willing to be harsh
with my writing. But someone who will pray with me and encourage me too. I know
some writing friends who would fit the bill, but I am afraid to ask them to
come alongside me and do this. Lord, I need the encouragement to ask them.
As for my family, we are maneuvering through
the life of a college senior and an adult male who works full-time and a high
school freshman / sophomore. He wants his brothers to move out since he has
always shared a room with his older brother, who now works full-time. He wants
his own privacy and space. Don’t blame him. I did not have my own room until my
junior year in high school, then married two years later. Did not last long.
While we are working at paying off our house,
twenty years early, we are debating if we should even stay in Indiana. We don’t
belong in Indiana. We both want better for our lives and our futures. This will
not happen in Indiana. If we should leave, which I am praying that will happen
ALL THE TIME, where should we go and when. I want to move north where there is
the possibility of snow and more outdoor activities to do. But the truth of the
matter is, can we afford to move elsewhere? Where would we work?
I want to grow our marriage. Something is
missing. Is it me? How do I become a better wife? How to I find that spark that
used to be in our marriage. I feel like my husband’s mother, who is reminding
him to clean up after himself all the time. Reminding him of chores that need to
be done around the house and our property. Reminding him of “projects” that he
wants to do, but he starts them and does not work on them at all. I feel like
we are just roommates who sleep in the same bed when I can tolerate his
snoring. Most nights I sleep on the couch because his snoring is SO LOUD. I
don’t feel like I am in a marriage; I just have four grown boys to deal with. A
single mother. Plus, I know that I, personal, have checked out a long time ago
too. How do I better myself in my marriage? Can’t force all the blame on him. I
know I am a horrible wife. No affection from me. All we do together is shop and
eat out at Texas Roadhouse. Help!
Long prayer, but Lord, I need help with all of
the items.
Amen.
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