By K. L. Bridgewater
After completing four
different writing contests in the past eight months and not placing at
all, I have been feeling a little down in the dumps lately. I have been
studying the Bible and seeking God through His Word and through Worship
music. Doubt has crept in and made me think I can't do this writing
thing. Why bother? It is a lot of work. Some writer friends I know are
winning at these contests over and over again. I have friends that are
paying to be self-published, and they are bragging all over Facebook
that there book is getting reviews, even though most of them are bad
reviews unless they are family members. Yes, the jealousy bug has
overtaken my desire to create a good story.
A couple
of days ago, the Lord led me to a verse that I know by heart:
Philippians 4:6: "Do not be anxious for nothing, but in everything by
prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known
to God." I wrote a two page single typed letter to God, whining about
how I have been doing this writing for almost twenty years, and I'm
still not placing in contests. I still have a lot to learn. But I would
like to see some validation for all my years of hard work.
For
the next couple of days, I have been worshiping God as I watched my
niece and nephew who came to hang out with my boys for an entire week.
Going swimming, catching fireflies at night, baking cookies in the
kitchen, and putting together a puzzle were a good way to forget about
my writing woes and create memories with my children and niece and
nephew.
Not to be so negative this time, but I have
learned to worship, and I have spent more time studying God's Word in
the last couple of weeks. Maybe God wanted to draw me closer to him.
Maybe this will help my writing in the end. If not, at least, I do have a
bright side to my writing problems, I have drawn closer in my
relationship to God, which is the ultimate goal in my life.
Has
there every been a time where you wanted to throw in the towel and stop
writing? What did you hold on to to return to writing? Has God ever
allowed you to fall more in love with him, which in turn made something
in your life better on the other side?
I would love to hear your stories to inspire me to keep writing. Thank you!
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