By Kelly Bridgewater
Today, I want to talk about the green-eyed monster that slips out in every person’s life at some time. Lately, I have been dealing with him a lot. Mostly because of the success of some other writers, friends, and cousins. This is going to be tough to read. It is what has been on my heart for a while now. Please, don’t comment with hateful words. This is just my personal feelings. Think of it as a journal entry.
First, let me give you a little background on how the green-eyed monster crept into my life. I have a friend, who I won’t mention their names. They grew up in a wealthy neighborhood. You know the ones with huge houses, nice manicured lawns, and new cars in the driveway. Every Christmas, this friend received all the best toys on the market and wore name brand clothes. They attended an expensive private Christian school and went to church all their lives. On the way to college, they attended an expensive one and succeeded at their degree. They met the “perfect” guy, fell in love, and had the expensive glamorous wedding at the resort. They married, bought a home, and have the perfect life with the painless pregnancy. Never a blimp in the road. Everything goes as plan. No struggles. Never having to work for anything.
But my story is a little different. I grew up with parents that moved every two years because we rented and my father kept using credit cards to buy what he wanted instead of paying the electric bill or the water bill. You do not know how embarrassing it is to run next door and ask to fill up five gallon camping containers for water because your father forgot to pay the water bill. My parents argued all the time. My mother promising to leave my father as soon as my little sister graduated from high school, which happened. I graduated from high school with dreams of going away for college, meeting the great Christian guy, and living the great life in a log cabin in the woods. But plans changed that. All through high school, I attended church and really stuck to God’s Word. I read it. I devoured the Word of God. I loved worship music. I couldn’t get enough. I stayed away from drugs, alcohol, and sex, even though my friends were doing all of them. I did not get invited to these parties because I was religious. They did not want to hang out with me at times, even ditched me at school dances because they wanted to go drink and get drunk. Not my thing. Oh, as a side note, they are now avid Christians with the perfect Christian wives and are the ones quoting Scriptures on Facebook. Funny, how that worked out.
When I applied for FAFSA (government aid) to attend college my senior year, they said I was getting no government help. I had to take out loans. The college I want to attend was $25,000 a year. I cried. My father made too much money but had no money to help me. I was devastated, so I went to IUPUI (Indiana University-Purdue University of Indianapolis) to start my schooling. While there, I met some Christian college kids, and I started hanging out with them. I met my future husband. One night, we slipped up and had sex. A couple of months, I found out we were expecting my son, Elijah. We planned a wedding. Not expensive at all. My in-laws paid for everything because my parents didn’t have any money or refused to give it up. I’m shy when I meet people for the first time, so I didn’t speak up and mention that the whole wedding was not my taste. I allowed Michael to make all the choices. It was not my ideal wedding.
This is only the first part of the story. Return next Friday, May 15 and I will continue my narrative. Do not forget to return on Friday, May 22, where I tell you how I defeat or hold him at bay until he peeks his head up again.
How does my story ring true with you? Are you ever visited by the green-eyed monster?