By Kelly Bridgewater
Today, I want to talk about the
green-eyed monster that slips out in every person’s life at some time. Lately,
I have been dealing with him a lot. Mostly because of the success of some other
writers, friends, and cousins. This is going to be tough to read. It is what
has been on my heart for a while now. Please, don’t comment with hateful words.
This is just my personal feelings. Think of it as a journal entry.
First, let me give you a little
background on how the green-eyed monster crept into my life. I have a friend,
who I won’t mention their names. They grew up in a wealthy neighborhood. You
know the ones with huge houses, nice manicured lawns, and new cars in the
driveway. Every Christmas, this friend received all the best toys on the market
and wore name brand clothes. They attended an expensive private Christian
school and went to church all their lives. On the way to college, they attended
an expensive one and succeeded at their degree. They met the “perfect” guy,
fell in love, and had the expensive glamorous wedding at the resort. They
married, bought a home, and have the perfect life with the painless
pregnancy. Never a blimp in the road.
Everything goes as plan. No struggles. Never having to work for anything.
But my story is a little different. I
grew up with parents that moved every two years because we rented and my father
kept using credit cards to buy what he wanted instead of paying the electric
bill or the water bill. You do not know how embarrassing it is to run next door
and ask to fill up five gallon camping containers for water because your father
forgot to pay the water bill. My parents argued all the time. My mother
promising to leave my father as soon as my little sister graduated from high
school, which happened. I graduated from high school with dreams of going away
for college, meeting the great Christian guy, and living the great life in a
log cabin in the woods. But plans changed that. All through high school, I
attended church and really stuck to God’s Word. I read it. I devoured the Word
of God. I loved worship music. I couldn’t get enough. I stayed away from drugs,
alcohol, and sex, even though my friends were doing all of them. I did not get
invited to these parties because I was religious. They did not want to hang out
with me at times, even ditched me at school dances because they wanted to go
drink and get drunk. Not my thing. Oh, as a side note, they are now avid
Christians with the perfect Christian wives and are the ones quoting Scriptures
on Facebook. Funny, how that worked out.
When I applied for FAFSA (government
aid) to attend college my senior year, they said I was getting no government
help. I had to take out loans. The college I want to attend was $25,000 a year.
I cried. My father made too much money but had no money to help me. I was
devastated, so I went to IUPUI (Indiana University-Purdue University of
Indianapolis) to start my schooling. While there, I met some Christian college
kids, and I started hanging out with them. I met my future husband. One night,
we slipped up and had sex. A couple of months, I found out we were expecting my
son, Elijah. We planned a wedding. Not expensive at all. My in-laws paid for
everything because my parents didn’t have any money or refused to give it up.
I’m shy when I meet people for the first time, so I didn’t speak up and mention
that the whole wedding was not my taste. I allowed Michael to make all the
choices. It was not my ideal wedding.
This is only the first part of the story.
Return next Friday, May 15 and I will continue my narrative. Do not forget to
return on Friday, May 22, where I tell you how I defeat or hold him at bay
until he peeks his head up again.
How does my story ring true with you? Are
you ever visited by the green-eyed monster?
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